I've owned several VWs, to include the GTI and Golf R. And if you read the forums, you'll find that there's the same love/hate relationship as with MINI folks. The common thread is, the ones having issues are the ones modding the crap out of their cars. That's also a reason I shy away from used cars. At least with a new one, I know what's been tinkered with (nothing).
IMO if you go VW, save some $$ and get a GTI over an R. Especially buying used. I think my Golf R was one of the rarest out there, because it had exactly zero mods. Even the tires were stock/original when I sold it.
Why can't you go 'basic' like a Honda? Too boring for you? I've found that with cars - or most things in life - the reliable (or 'safe') choices are typically the boring choices